Facebook and SmilingMonk Negotiations Break Down
Posted 02-15-2008 3:12 am by admin admin

It's fake news, but life would be more interesting if it were real (this one is for mature audiences only)

By John Copperpot, Associated Press Writer

LOS ANGELES - Negotiations have apparently broken down between the internet darling Facebook and newly created how-to website SmilingMonk.com. The two parties had reportedly been in talks since March 2007 in an attempt to join forces to create MonkFace, a joint venture that would have been worth nearly $200 million. According to an undisclosed source that works closely with Mark Zutterberg, famed Facebook CEO, the partnership MonkFace would have created new technology whereby users would wear a high tech Wi-Fi enabled mask shaped like a monkey head on their face. When users encountered others who were wearing the mask, they would be able to view the user's Facebook profile with virtual reality technology which would be controlled by the wrinkling of one's nose. They could use the same mask to view tutorials from SmilingMonk.com while changing their car oil, undertaking home improvements, or performing any one of literally dozens of tasks demonstrated in videos uploaded by SmiingMonk.com's rag-tag user base. According to the source, talks broke down after Hubert Cumberdale, SmilingMonk's President and CEO, and Mr. Zutterberg could not come to an agreement on the size of the MonkFace apparatus.

In comments Hubert Cumberdale made recently on the red carpet of the opening of the new film "Bee Movie" he was hostile towards the situation. "Mark Zutterberg is a douche bag and a kleptomaniac" said Mr. Cumberdale. "I mean the guy just steals everything, I have personal evidence that he stole five pairs of jeans from the GAP in the last month." When pressed about what evidence he might have Mr. Cumberdale became defensive, "Hell no, I'm not gonna share it with you." Mr. Cumberdale went on to become even more indignant, "And he has a small penis, trust me I know, I've seen it. The guy just whips it out where ever he goes. It's quite disturbing. Oh and he has the herp-a-lurp down there if you catch my drift. Oh and he doesn't brush his teeth at night, and he uh...he's a horrible, horrible father. "

Mark Zutterberg later fired back, "This is just classic projection. First, he stole the whole concept for his business from YouTube, which by the way already has a great Do-It-Yourself section. And the penis thing? I mean the guy thought he had a pubic hair until he peed out of it. How would you feel if you were six-foot-six and had that? Who cares about MonkeyBuddha or whatever the name of that site is. If it went public it would have a market cap of like $12 dollars. And the horrible father thing, I don't even have any kids, I mean com'on!!"

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